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Entry 487Filed under Breeding

Letting Murphy Go: Erica Adamiak’s Story of Love, Loss, and Behavioral Euthanasia

After a fatal fight left Ridley dead, Erica Adamiak’s family tried to understand Murphy’s behavior and find a safe path forward. Her account traces their difficult decision and the grief that followed.
3-minute read By Animalso Team
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Content note: This first-person account discusses pet loss, behavioral euthanasia, and a fatal dog attack.

Erica Adamiak says her family spent weeks trying to understand Murphy’s behavior and find a safe way forward after their elderly dog Ridley was fatally injured in a fight. After consulting their veterinarian and considering their options, they chose behavioral euthanasia. Adamiak describes the decision not as a simple answer, but as a devastating loss followed by a long, uneven process of grief.

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What happened to Ridley and Murphy

In her Dogster account, Erica Adamiak says Ridley was a 13-year-old Chihuahua and Murphy had been part of the family for six years. After a fight between the dogs, Ridley was found badly injured and died at a veterinary clinic that day. Adamiak does not say what prompted the fight, and her account does not establish a complete clinical or behavioral history.

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The event left the family grieving Ridley while facing an urgent question about Murphy’s safety and future. Adamiak writes, “I lost two dogs that day.” She means not only Ridley, but also the dog she loved and ultimately chose to let go.

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Couldn’t they have trained Murphy?

Adamiak says the family made calls, sent emails, and attended veterinary visits as they tried to understand Murphy’s behavior. They identified resource guarding and fear-related behavior, considered rehoming, and pursued intensive training. She estimated that the training was about 85% effective for their family; that is her account of their progress, not a measured success rate or evidence of what training can achieve for other dogs. The story does not specify the methods used.

Even substantial improvement did not settle the family’s decision. Adamiak says Murphy was instructed to wear a muzzle in specified situations, but the account does not suggest that a muzzle alone could resolve the risk or make every situation safe. Her experience cannot establish that training is futile, or that a single serious incident automatically means euthanasia is necessary.

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How the family reached its decision

Adamiak says their veterinarian supported them whichever direction they chose; she does not say the veterinarian made the decision for them. After three weeks of exhaustion, the family chose behavioral euthanasia. The story presents this as a decision made in the context of their own circumstances, not as a universal rule for dogs who show aggression.

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A separate veterinarian-reviewed Dogster guide recommends discussing a difficult decision with a veterinarian or veterinary behavior professional. It identifies factors that can shape that conversation, including the dog’s and household’s quality of life, aggression history and severity, whether triggers are predictable, people or animals at risk, and the practical feasibility of treatment or management. Options to discuss may include veterinary behavior support, medication, environmental management, rehoming, and behavioral euthanasia. The guide does not evaluate Murphy or determine what another family should do.

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Grief, guilt, and loving dogs again

Adamiak describes guilt, shame, sadness, and second-guessing after Murphy’s death. She also writes that people still ask, “Why?” or “Couldn’t you have just trained her?” Such questions can be painful when a family has already spent time seeking help and weighing difficult choices. Her account does not offer a single answer for every family; it shows how grief and doubt can coexist with love and the belief that a decision was made to protect others.

Over time, Adamiak says joy gradually returned and dogs came into the household again. That change did not erase the loss. As she puts it, “It’s hard to let them go and sometimes even harder to love them again.”

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Finding support after pet loss

Grief can differ from one person and situation to another. In a separate article, veterinarian Dr. Karyn Kanowski suggests acknowledging feelings, remembering the life shared with a pet, creating a memorial, and reaching out for support. Her article names Lap of Love, the Anti-Cruelty Society, Everlife Support Groups, Wings, and the Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement as possible resources. Readers can consider these alongside support from people they trust or a qualified mental health professional.

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